Code Geass: The Despair of Agony (Rough Draft)
by Xlerons
Summary: In the aftermath of the F.L.E.I.J.A.'s destruction, along with the perceived death of his sister Nunnally, Lelouch loses the will to live and becomes deprived of the very reason for his past two - years of continual struggle, leaving him both broken and shallow, an empty vessel. How will this change effect the original outcome? A 'what - if' scenario of Code Geass, R2, Episode 18.


**Code Geass: The Despair of Agony**

 **Key:**

" " - Regular Speech

' ' - Unheard Thoughts

 _" "_ \- Radio Communication

 **" "** \- Amplified Speech / External Speakers / Public Address System (PA System)

 ** _Chapter I: Unendurable Loss_**

Terror. Pure, unadulterated terror. Such words are the only ones whom could accurately describe the emotions running through Lelouch at the time. Nunnally, his sister, the very purpose of his existence, was dead.

It had been but mere moments ago that she had died, her very being wiped off the face of the Earth, along with 35 million other poor souls of the once grand Tokyo settlement, by the blinding light and god - like force that was F.L.E.I.J.A. She was gone. She was gone and he couldn't understand how.

He had taken care of her for years, no matter the cost to his being, all in the effort of bringing a smile to her face, angelic in its very nature. No matter what her dreams, her desires, he strived with all his might, logic and emotions put aside, to insure her happiness. Whether walking through the desolated cities of a war - torn Japan, or simply making her life as comfortable as he could while they resided at Ashford, it all came down to Nunnally's desires. The very rebellion he had so far lead, that which praised for justice, equality and a free world, had naught but begun in his attempt to achieve her greatest wish: A peaceful world. And now she was gone.

"Nunnally…" It was but a mere whisper, half - chocked as it made its way out of Lelouch's mouth, his voice releasing pure agony as it made itself heard.

Several minutes passed as the realization of his sister's untimely and unwarranted demise finally let itself be known within the masked messiah's mind, where, upon such time, he palmed the control's of his nightmare, opening an open - channel towards his loyal followers.

 _"_ _Attention all Black Knights, I am ordering an immediate and total cessation of all hostilities. All forces are too fall back to the Ikaruga effective immediately and are to regroup and rearm themselves as effectively as possible. You are then to reform our battle - line and await further instructions. I am handing direct command of our forces to General Kyoshiro Tohdoh until further - notice."_

The order took several seconds to move in, the military arm of the U.F.N. slowly but surely absorbing the latest directive of their leader. Yet, despite the sound logic behind Zero's command, the collective minds of the Black Nights could do nothing but notice the tone of voice of their leader. Gone was the confident aura and unmatched charisma of the man whom had lead them, time and time again, through impossible odds and adversities, only to bring them victory. All that remained was nothing but the sound of a man whom had lost the very will to live. The order was lifeless, devoid of any authority or belief, hollow in its entirety. To say the men and women of Japan were unnerved was an understatement.

'Lelouch…' A feeling of both guilt and sorrow invaded Kallen's mind as she registered the utterly lifeless order her leader had just given. She knew, better yet understood, the overwhelming sorrow that must have been raging within Lelouch's psyche. It was the very same emotion she had endured when she had learned of Naoto's death, one that could surmount even the strongest of wills, one which squashed all hope within a person, as if their souls had been ripped out of their very being, leaving nothing behind but a husk of a person. 'What will he do now?' She thought.

In his Zangetsu, General Kyoshiro Tohdoh was experiencing similar thoughts to those Kallen had currently been running through her head. The sudden shift in personality in his commander unnerved him greatly. 'What's happened to him?' The Black Nights' head of military operations was suddenly brought out of his musing as a repetitive and high pitched beeping made itself heard, signaling his being hailed. The one desiring to speak with him was the ignite of Zero himself.

 _"_ _I read you Zero, what is it you wish of me?"_ The former J.L.F. Lieutenant Colonel answered, his voice gruff and determined.

 _"…_ _Tohdoh…I'm returning to the Ikaruga…Please assemble the Black Knights' core members for an emergency meeting."_ Just as it had been but moments ago, Zero's order lacked its usual might and confidence, a detail which only brought forward Tohdoh's worry to a greater level.

Noticing his loss of awareness, the general caught himself and quickly responded. _"As you wish Zero."_ Then, opening an open channel to all allied units, the honorable leader barked out his own orders. _"All forces, retreat to the Ikaruga and reform our battle line! The core leadership of the Black Knights are to make their way to the council room as soon as possible as ordained by commander Zero! Is that understood?!"_

A series of _"Roger"_ s and _"Hai"_ s responded over his knightmare's internal speakers, the troops acknowledging the order in rapid succession.

 _"_ _And Tohdoh, make sure C.C. is not let into the conference room…"_

Zero's last request only furthered the Black Knights' third in command worry. For their leader to outright request his rumored mistress and confident, as well as unofficial co - leader, to be barred from the meeting did not bode well.

'This is…unsettling' He thought.

Only time would tell as he made his way back towards the aerial carrier that was their flagship, unanswered questions filling his mind as he accelerated his machine's thrusters.

* * *

As Lelouch slowly made his way out of the Shinkiro, it became an uphill battle for him to remain lucid. His mind wandered endlessly as it attempted to understand the nature of the situation. The usually phenomenal head of his, packed to the brim with contingency plan after contingency plan, alternate move after alternate move and backup plan after backup plan, was now but a quagmire of emotions, muddled in confusion and sorrow. His steps were, at best, tentative and uncertain, his typically regal posture and attitude all but gone.

As he made his way to the council room, Lelouch's frame of mind failed to notice the worried looks directed his way by fellow Black Knight members as he passed by them, his overall demeanor only causing a rise in their current anxiety following the disaster that was F.L.E.I.J.A. and the death of countless millions of innocent bystanders and civilians.

It was not long before Zero found himself at the front door of his destination, at which time he quickly scanned his founder level keycard, the door rewarding him with a short chirp of sound as its doors slid open, his authorization recognized.

But before he could reach his designated seat within the room, an unofficial throne designating whomever sat within it as leader of the order, Lelouch's body buckled underneath him, causing him to fall down, his total collapse only halted by his knees rapid movement in an attempt at stability. Unable to force himself back up from his kneeling position, Lelouch's form failed to budge and simply awaited for the arrival of his colleagues.

* * *

When the core member's of the Black Knights had finally convened together in the hallway outside of the Ikaruga's largest meeting room, often designated for gatherings or diplomatic conferences, it could be said that most were eager, if but rather apprehensive, of the emergency meeting as condone by their masked leader. No doubt it would have to do with the devastation brought on by Britania's newest super weapon, however other possibilities remained, afterthoughts which lingered within their reasonings, pushed back into temporary storage for the time being.

What they had not expected to see, however, was the disheveled form of Zero, kneeling upon the ground, as they entered the both large and spacious chamber.

For several moments the room became as silent as an abandoned grave, the leader's observing the apparent corpse of a now completely and utterly broken man, with no semblance of life left within him.

It was, surprisingly, Tohdoh whom spoke up first once the temporary shock had passed, his usually patient and reflective demeanor abandoned to the wind.

"Zero, are you injured? Do you require assistance?"

The helmet clad figure made no sound, nor movement, at the man's inquiry. Soon, however, as single question emerged from the revolutionary's throat.

"Where is Nuna Tohdoh - sensei?"

Tohdoh froze. There was only one person whom he had known with such a nickname, and he had only met one person to have ever called her that. The implication and realization that dawned upon his mind left the usually level - headed Colonel at a loss for words, unable to formulate a response.

The question made itself heard again, sounding both desperate and broken. "Where is Nuna Tohdoh - sensei?"

Among the other present council members, the inquiry left many confused and wary. Why was there leader referencing the late - Viceroy with such familiarity? Which did Zero reference Tohdoh in a student - to - teacher manner? And, most importantly, why was the question formulated not in English, but in Japanese?

From the moment of the order's founding by Zero, and even in time's previous to such event, none of the Black Nights, whether they be new recruits or seasoned veterans, had ever heard the man utter a single word of Japanese, his orders and speeches always having been articulated in English, presumably for ease of understanding. And yet here, that very same man, had switched into a nearly flawless fluent Japanese, a language that even the majority of the Black Knights had not mastered due to years of Britannia induced cultural repression, one which included the elimination of the native language. The implications were unsettling.

Having regained his senses, the now reinvigorated Tohdoh slowly made his way to the hunched over figure, almost certain of his identity, before he noticed a slight movement of his left hand. Eyeing it with extreme focus, he noticed it moving to Zero's left side, that which he new to hold his leader's holstered sidearm.

It was as if time slowed down.

Out of nowhere, a both enraged and panicked C.C. made her presence known throughout the conference room, a knocked out Black Knight guard on the floor by the side of the now opened door, screaming at the very top of her lungs, "STOP HIM TOHDOH!"

The dread that encompassed those persons present upon hearing the green haired immortal's distress and anguished cry rapidly turned to panic as they eyed the still dilapidated form of Zero, a standard issue Britannia pistol aimed at his temple from the side, finger inching ever close to pressing the trigger.

In a flash, Tohdoh leapt across the few meters that separated him and the exiled prince, bringing his hand down upon his target's neck, knocking him out. A single shot rang out but a fraction of a second later, the bullet ricocheting off the hawk - like helmet's metal frame, cracking it in two.

Lelouch's limp body the fell face first into the hard floor of the room, his helmet splitting cleanly in two and rolling away as his head made contact, leaving his identity unprotected. All that could be seen by the nearby Black Knights was a gleaming mop of raven black hair, wet from the sweat of its owner's despair, before a single scream range out.

"LELOUCH!"


End file.
